Wednesday, 11 May 2016

Unravel Me by Tahereh Mafi

Unravel Me (Shatter Me, #2)Unravel Me by Tahereh Mafi

My rating: 1 of 5 stars

“Books are easily destroyed. But words will live as long as people can remember them.”

Now that everyone knows I'm a huge masochist for bad books, you will have to bear with me ranting about Unravel Me for more than the usual time, mainly because this book was so bad. Anyway, before you start reading this review, if you haven't read my review on Shatter Me, I recommended you to do so. It might be useful to know about my initial thoughts about this series. Basically, this book was worse than the previous.

“Sticks and stones keep breaking my bones but these words, these words will kill me.”

Let's start with the plot. Juliette has escaped from Warner, and is now residing in Omega Point (would you be offended by my sarcasm if I said this was a ridiculous name?), where there are more people, who, like Juliette, have *gifts*. Let me be candid here: There isn't even a plot here! The only thing that happened was Adam, Anderson, Castle, Kenji and Warner. If I ask Juliette in the first half of the book, she'd say, "Adam happened!" Ask it a little later, she'd say, "Castle happened." Then, "Kenji happened." Then "Anderson happened." Towards the end of the book, "Warner happened." All that ever took place was Castle delivering mundane lines to Juliette about Adam, meeting Warner's father and taking Warner as their hostage. Not much of a plot, is it? Now, I'm serious. Just three events ever took place!

“Time goes on even when we do not.”

Now I'm going to skip to the characters. I've said most of what I feel about the characters in the previous book, but after a couple of revelations, I think I need to speak more about them. Juliette is still our insane protagonist. She continues to *struggle between expressing her thoughts and hence continues to strike out whole sentences in her precious notebook which is written in present tense*. I haven't written in my journal for about a year now, but since I still keep it locked in my drawer, I took a sneak peek. And I had not written the entries in present tense. Let me get to the main point of the book: Juliette loves Adam, but if she touches him, he will die. Wasn't he supposed to be immune to her touch? Also, we can still see her immaturity, indecisiveness, insanity, irresponsibility and her half baked sentences with *ludicrous metaphors as icing* Juliette has not developed, but in fact become more underdeveloped here.

"Words, I think, are such unpredictable creatures."

I still don't like Adam. He gets the same verdict as Juliette from me. He has a boring and rather useless *gift*. Apparently Adam's full name is Adam Kent Anderson. Our antagonist (I think) is Adam's step-father, so you see, Adam and Warner are related; as in they are half-brothers. Warner has no idea about this fact, and Adam decided to not bother telling him that either.

“And if you insist on continuing to make assumptions about my character, I’ll advise you only this: assume you will always be wrong.”

Warner, as I mentioned in my review on Shatter Me, is the only character I liked amongst the main characters. However, my admiration for him is detoriating slowly because he is flirting with Juliette. This guy really deserves better. How on earth could he like her?! Anyway, it was revealed that Warner's full name is actually Aaron Warner Anderson. Apparently he has a special *gift* too. Oh and Warner does not like his father very much, so the antagonist of the story has changed. I still like him though; he is the only reason I'm even reading this trash.

“Sticks and stones keep breaking my bones but these words, these words will kill me.”

I never liked Kenji and I like him even less now. How do people even bear him? Disgusting jokes, no proper manners, and not humourous whatsoever. The new addition to the list of characters, and hopefully the antagonist of the book, Anderson. There are no mentions of his full name, so be satisfied with the little information you have.

“The books...they helped keep me from losing my mind altogether.”

The writing is preposterous. Broken sentences. *Overrated* metaphors. Asinine personification. Impossible to reciprocate. Definitely impossible by me. #ThisIsSoRidiculousI'dRatherNotReadABook. Here are done examples I meticulously picked out for you to *enjoy*:
I'm drinking oxygen, devouring it, choking on it, taking it in as quickly as possible, my entire body heaving as it strains to return to normal.
What is with this author and oxygen?! I've had enough with asinine personification! Did ... . (author) have biology in school because I learnt that oxygen was an element in gaseous state when I was seven! You cannot 'drink' oxygen! And how exactly do you 'choke' on oxygen?
What am I doing here? Why did you bring me here? Why haven't you killed me yet?
Let me answer those questions for Juliette. What are you doing here? Well, she is the one who should be knowing, albeit in her case it would be taking in oxygen but in a more metaphorical way. Why did you bring me here? Okay, I honestly admit that this isn't one of the forbidden questions, and I don't blame her for asking Anderson that. Why haven't you killed me yet? If you aren't dead already, be grateful! At least you'll know how you died a few seconds before you reach Hades' liar! Seriously?!
He (Castle) hasn't said a word in five minutes.
I don't recall Castle being particularly loquacious. I didn't realize that five minutes was such a huge amount of time! Let that Castle guy process. For goodness sake, wait for more than five minutes!
I'm checking my pockets for spare words and sentences but I'm finding none, not a preposition or even a dangling participle because there doesn't exist a single response to such am outlandish request.
This quote is a disgrace! How much absurd personification and metaphor can a reader take? Give me a break! You don't find words in pockets! Are you trying to imply that my pockets are always empty? And why on earth would be require a participle or preposition to answer a request? If that was where Tahereh Mafi got all the ridiculous quotes from, I think I'm going to give this author clothes without pockets for her birthday. I know you feel that I'm taking these literally, but this flowery writing deserves my chagrin.
I am a thief. I stoke this notebook and this pen from one of the doctors, from one of his jab coats when he wasn't looking, and I shoved them both down my pants.
This 'I am a thief' thing has been bothering me. You steal a notebook from a doctor and become a thief. A notebook - don't forget - a notebook. Juliette dear, you need to steal more than that to get the honourary title. Not a notebook. You cannot call yourself an assassin if you kill a mosquito.
He (Warner) appears in a doorway directly across from where I'm now standing and he looks exactly as I remember him.
Of course you do! You just saw his some pages ago! She sees him smiling and nearly gets caught by him, but after a few pages, she says this. That could be possible for me because I'm terrible at remembering faces, but her words contradict this theory I have in mind.
I'm staring at a man who is absolutely, breathtakingly beautiful. And he is a man.
mgjpgjpgjtwjdjgjpmgjtjgmwtagdwph! I think I just spilt my juice. She stares at a man and clarifies that he is a man. *raises hand during English class* Excuse me Ma'am but may I be reedy l excused. I'm having a migraine.
What I really want to say is who the hell are you and who are you to decide who gets to die . Who are you to decide who should be killed. Who are you to tell me which father I should destroy and which child I should orphan and which mother should be left without her son, which brother should be left without a sister, which grandmother should spend the rest of her life crying in the early hours of the morning because the body of her grandchild was buried in the ground before her own?
I'm not even commenting about this!
We look homeless. Which means we look like civilians.
Okay, if Juliette was referring to the pathetic living conditions of her underdeveloped dystopian world, she is doing a pretty bad job.
Loneliness is a strange sort of thing. It creeps up on you, quiet and still, sits by your side in the dark, strokes you as you sleeps. It wraps itself around your bones, squeezing so tight you almost can't breathe. It leaves lies in your heart, lies next to you at night, leach the light out from every corner. It's a constant companion, clasping you hand only to yank you down when you're struggling to stand up.
Later in the same page....
Loneliness is an old friend standing beside you in the mirror, looking you in the eye, challenging you to live your life without it. You can't find the words to fight yourself, to fight the screaming that you're not enough never enough never every enough. Loneliness is a bitter, wretches companion. Sometimes it just won't let go.
I'm really fed of this personification! There really is a limit. I'm not accusing anyone of using any metaphor or personification in their stories, but there really is a limit. Besides, an insane teenager does not think paragraphs about abstract feelings such as solitude that way. Oh, and besides, loneliness does not work that way.
I count everything. Even numbers, odd numbers, multiples of ten. I count the tick of the clock I count the tocks of the clock I count the lines between the lines on a sheet of paper. I count the broken beats of my heart I count my pulse and my blinks and the number of tries it takes to inhaled enough oxygen for my lungs. I stay like this until the feeling stops. Until the tears stop spilling, until my fists stop shaking, until my heart stops aching. There are never enough numbers.
This bit really convinced my that Juliette is truly insane. I do read dictionaries when I'm bored without a book, but who in the right mind counts all this! Let's be pragmatic here: Juliette is not a character with abundant patience to do this. This is never possible. And she says that there are never enough numbers. Which was the last even number you counted? Infinity? What about infinity plus two? And did you count negative integers as well? Fractions? Rational numbers? Surds? Decimal numbers? Just divide the main topic into sub-categories, and you don't have to go through the pain of thinking of other things to count. Behold! Oxygen again! Tahereh Mafi, please take your protagonist to the hospital for a check-up in the next book, because we don't want her die of lack of oxygen, do we? If you fear that you'll have to make her pull an oxygen tank everywhere, don't worry: A lot of people like Hazel Grace Lancaster.
It's the kind of kiss that makes you realize oxygen is overrated.
WHAT THE HELL???!!!!! Here comes oxygen again! Except this time our insane protagonist thinks that it is overrated! What caused it? A kiss! Every time she kisses someone, she remembers oxygen!
My mouth tastes like death.
How. Exactly. Is. This. Possible? ♪ Tell me something I need to know ♪ How does Juliette know what Death tastes like? Am in the wrong book? No, the Book Thief is a masterpiece, not mastertrash. This is getting too difficult to read.
Kenji is a walking paradox of Unflinching Serious Person and 12-year-Old Boy Going Through Puberty all rolled into one.
Do you want me to comment on this? Do you? Do you?

Yeah, so basically this book is awful and you should never read it. I might read Destroy Me and maybe the next book as well, but I've no hopes in it. I'm going to recommend this book as one of the books you must never ever touch.

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